Tindering in Singapore

Ah, Majulah Singapapura.

You have truly allowed me to have experiences that have ultimately enabled me to delete Tinder.

T is for trashy guys.

I is for idiots who don’t know grammar.

N is for not all the guys here are jerks.

D is for the dicks who try to be one but are ultimately really sweet.

E is for the enigmatic and eccentric ang mohs who try to match with me to “show them” around.

R is for the rebels who are “too white to handle” despite their obvious Asian features (this is coming from an Asian too, don’t call me out on racism). A basic f*ckboy in the making.

Comparing to tindering in Japan, tindering in the little red dot isn’t all that bad.

Most of the guys here in my age preference are in NS, waiting for NS, or are already done with NS: but still in the NS age range.

Maybe it’s because of that, but many of them were quite active in messaging me and had no problem chatting with me without mentioning “netflix and chill”. It was a nice change of atmosphere, unlike Tokyo where the guys only look for the nearest underaged hookup in a love hotel (note to guys: no girl likes it when you treat them like a disposable tissue for your masturbation session. NO ONE LIKES IT.)

So first, is the obligatory stereotypes. I have divided them into five types.

1.The Ang Moh f*ckboy who is wearing an Asian facade.

TL;DR this dude is Asian. He is a wannabe- Asian gangsta, and will demand you to treat him like one. Most often than not, he is quite buff but is also lacking in some social norms that tells people to treat others the way you want to be treated.

Just don’t get all caught up in his weird conversations about “netflix and chill”. You are worth more than that. He is usually tied into the clubbing scene, working as a boucer or  a DJ.

2. Poly guy who blossomed into a beautiful f*ckboy but still has his nice side.

He’s trying. This guy is trying so hard to be hard to get, but his niceness gets the better of him and ends up being desperate. He blossomed into popularity in poly, and that’s why he’s trying to get laid on Tinder. This guy will start to follow your instagram (without asking so yay free follower), message you “hello” three times in a row, and even end up accusing you of being “too shy”.

Note to guys: No, us girls are not “shy” in messaging back– we’re just not interested in your advances. Thanks but no thanks.

If you like this guy, it might be a hit or miss. While there is a certain chance that he’ll be your amazing boyfriend who is so smart and is good at dancing, he could turn out to ghost you after some dates. Just give it a whirl.

3. NS guy who is just bored.

He looks amazing. He already finished NS, and is always so busy because of jogging and gymming but you don’t care because you’re talking to a hottie. This guy is the man of my dreams.

He’s casual, chatty, and most of all, really chill. About everything.

This guy doesn’t care if you can’t meet him next week, he just tells you to message him back when you’re free, and you’re on your own way. Why is he so self-assured and attractive to us girls?

If you find this guy, just message him. You won’t regret it. A lot of them end up to be really witty when you meet them in person.

4. The (definitely) underaged international school kid.

Don’t even try it. He’ll just end up messaging you with a typical “hey” and try to get some nudes so he can show it to his friends. It’s a game to them, and they aren’t in it for the long run. A friends with benefits? Maybe.

Usually he just wants to prove to his friends that he’s “got game”.

5.  The Expat who is waaaay older than you but will still try to bang.

Good try, buddy. I just can’t see this whole chat even happening. You like petite girls under the age of 19? Sorry, I’m pretty big and my personality is probably going to overwhelm you. Most of the girls in Singapore can speak Engrish verrrry fluent thank you very much. And no, I don’t appreciate you trying to speak Singlish. Just stop it.

If you want mute girls who will agree with you about how “cultured” you are, try going to the countryside in Japan or get a gaijin-hunter in Tokyo.

Compared to Tokyo, Tinder here is pretty nice. Probably not mainstream compared to OKcupid, but hey it’s cool. Many of them understand US culture and enjoy sarcasm.

A lot of them ask for Whatsapp or Telegram, both of which I didn’t have.

But why? Why did I end up deleting my account in such a nice place?

I decided to start Tinder up in SG again because I was bored. Period. I had deleted the app in Japan, but hadn’t deleted my actual account. I was just “invisible” to those around me.

Why did I take the final step of getting Tinder out of my life?

In a land where the guys are nicer, better looking (at least in my opinion), more cultured (compared to the Japanese guys), and more open to serious dating?

It wasn’t about Singapore, it was more about Tinder itself.

I realized that I wasn’t getting anywhere in my chats, and was constantly having the same conversation starting with my long-a** explanation about my idea of a “home country”. With the time I had spent on Tinder for the last three months, I could have started a new hobby or be in the gym to meet new guys in real life.

Yes, I understand this is the digital age but I’m still conservative in the sense that I don’t want to end up telling my friends that I met my dream guy “online”. I started Tinder as a game in December last year, got really into it in January, went on “casual” dates in Feburary, and deleted it in March. What most people found out in the first two weeks, took me about three months to even have a basic grasp on.

I started Tinder as a game in December last year, got really into it in January, went on “casual” dates in Feburary, and deleted it in March. What most people found out in the first two weeks, took me about three months to even have a basic grasp on.

Even though Tinder was obviously a horrible place for me to look for love, it gave me a lot of self-esteem. I was invisible in High school, and I thought that no guy would ever find me attractive. Not even for sex. Guess what? Tinder solved that for me real quick. I tended to swipe right on most guys (around 90%) and still got matches with guys who I wouldn’t even joke about dating them because they’re so out of my league.  Which was a nice surprise.

But I wanted a guy who I could always talk to, and who was interested in me as a long-term investment. Who was willing to wait for me. It’s hard to find guys like that in real life, and even harder online where you can’t see who you’re talking to.

On the short-term, Tinder was fun. It was exciting. But after a while, it gets old. The whole algorithm is repetitive, and you realize that you’re better off improving yourself before trying to get your self worth from strangers who have never even met the real you.

As Tina Belcher from “Bob’s Burgers” says,

“I am a strong, sensual woman”

For women, I will say that you should give online dating a try. Just don’t make it your life.

For guys, the same goes to you too.

It’s nice to meet a person who has a life that doesn’t revolve around you.

So now, I won’t be tindering anymore but I’ll be tinkering away on my life.

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