- Has lived in Japan for a long time.
- Working as a technician
- one year older than me
- Likes memes a lot
- from the U.S.
- Apparently, he has no friends, or that’s what he tells me.
- Has a dog.
- Gave me his address, phone number, line account, snapchat account, and a lot of unwanted details about his family.
I never knew his face until we added each other on Snapchat. And wow. I didn’t know what to expect, but his face was not one of them. He seemed ok enough.
This is probably my Tinder story that made me delete the app.
He was adamant about scheduling a meetup, and even after messaging each other via iMessage, he kept on talking about how he likes “cuddling, snuggling, and sending memes”. Most of his messages were multiple screenshots of memes, and it was funny at the start but soon after, I got bored. I liked memes as an ice breaker, but not to the point that I wanted every single conversation to be about memes. Not to mention, he got personal way too fast and sent multiple messages after I didn’t reply for five minutes.
He would tell me that he gets attached too fast and that he was a virgin. I didn’t want to know any of these things and was extremely uncomfortable.
But I kept on messaging back because he seemed sweet. I didn’t know about his face, but personality-wise I thought we could be friends.
So the day came, and we walked around Yoyogi park, had ramen, went to a cat cafe, and parted ways.
It was a date, but probably the kind of date I never want to experience again.
Red flag #1: He talked about how annoying his dog is.
His family has two dogs, one here and the other back in the states, and I am a strong dog person. Talking about how annoying your dog is while not saying anything about how you take care of the dog’s basic needs is a big turn-off for me. It screams that you don’t know shit about taking care of a pet, but has the audacity to criticize those who do (me). He went on and on about how I was “taking care of my (now euthanized) dog wrong”, and I honestly felt like leaving him there at that moment.
Red flag #2: (playfully) punching me.
I don’t know why this was an issue with me, but it was. I usually don’t care about things like this. My friends do this to me, its ok. But when he did it, I felt uncomfortable. I didn’t like it.
I just wanted to go back to my dorm.
Red flag #3: Not being able to do math or say “thank you”
We went to a cat cafe, and I paid 1000 yen while he paid 410 yen. He never said anything–more like not noticing anything– and he made us leave early because he was “so bored and was about to fall asleep in that cafe”. We each paid for our own food, so the least he could do was to say “thanks” when I paid for his ticket.
I liked the cafe, and I wished that I had never scheduled this Tinder date then.
Red flag #4: Horrendously bad teeth
More of a personal preference for me. I grew up with braces, so I have alright looking teeth. This might be why when I see a guy with really bad teeth, it’s an instant turn-off for me.
Red flag #5: He tindered, swiped left and right, while we were eating.
We talked about our Tinder experiences and BAM. He started tindering right in front of me. Not okay. Have some decency.
Red flag #6: When asked if I looked like my pictures, he told me that “from certain angles, yeah”.
A certain level of honesty is always appreciated, but those words were extremely hurtful. When I joked about whether or not I should just go to the male bathroom because it has no line compared to the female’s, he told me that I wasn’t too ugly to pass off as a guy. Which led me to think of a lot of questions.
Maybe some women like it when a guy tells you these kinds of comments, but I wasn’t really into this.
Red flag #5: After the date, he asked me if I had a crush on him.
I wanted to block him right then. I wanted to say “sorry, but no.” Some of his comments on iMessage were downright weird but I had already added him on Facebook so I thought he would write horrible messages to my friends.
Basically, I was too chicken. I just told him that I’m not looking for anything right now and that it was nice meeting him.
After the date, I questioned every choice I made in my life since coming to Japan and decided that having Tinder was probably one of the biggest mistakes I made. I deleted it, and have since not contacted him. I didn’t think I was shallow enough to have an explicit type on what I like, but now I think having a certain preference helps out to narrow down your choices and to avoid awkward scenarios for both sides. I should have established certain boundaries on what I want through Tinder, and I still feel bad sometimes about this whole situation. I guess this is just one of those bad times when I put myself out there, but its fine. One rotten apple won’t spoil the whole batch for me, and I’ll keep on trekking on. Maybe just not on Tinder.